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Zone 4, London, United Kingdom
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Saturday, 12 April 2008

Things. Teen problems.

It's problems like these that make hate being a teen.

I'm totally loving 'Superstar' by Sonic Youth at the moment, its on the Juno soundtrack. I'm not going to talk about much else but the thing in my head, and I would hope for this who read this post/blog to please just give me some sort of advice, big or small. It's really bugging me.

Ok, i'm going to try and tell this story in the most non-bias way as possible and in the clearest non jumbled up way too.

Yesterday, after work, I went to my friend's 19th birthday party. So, it started out as normal and blah. My friend's ex and who is also our friend (our refers to most of us at the party as we've known each other since secondary school, same year and most of us same form group from at least year7-9), my friend's ex is in the year above us so he's just a wee bit older. We all know my friend, we'll call her... err.... Girl. She split from the ex, we'll call him Boy - I know, real original, - a few months ago due to his schedule being pretty busy and therefore not being able to see each other that much and so she was forced to, unwillingly, call it a day. It was for the best. So, Boy came to the party not long after me, him too being late due to work. It was fine and dandy, we get on pretty cool and stuff, me and the Boy. We've got a joke that he's my Father due to this weird little joke before I turnt 18 that they could've adopted me, I later told him this and now we're Father and Daughter, it's just a weird joke. Through the night everyone's getting along, i'm trying to sort out things with my ex-bff, I tend to like being outside so I was around in the garden a lot, or if not in the garden, I would be inside where everyone was hanging out too. So, me and Boy, including Girl, we're all getting along and stuff, separately though, but it wasn't on purpose, she was just talking to other people and I was just mingling around with everyone. Everyone, not sure about Boy, we all know that Girl still has feelings for him, and according to Girl, they are kinda secretly seeing each other but on a kisses and thats it kinda level.
I was sitting outside, and then Girl randomly comes to me and says 'Boy wants to get on you, you should do it, I don't mind etc...' So i'm sitting there thinking... 'Err.... no, you know I won't, are these one of your theories? You know I'm not gonna etc...' I've NEVER had feelings for him in that way. She's said it before, him having these 'apparent' feelings for me, she said it before I set them up together and then she said it when they were on the verge of breaking up. I partly think she's doing it for attention, and partly because she's just so fucking insecure she needs more attention. I don't understand.

Backlog - they split in around... february? And late Feb, I was going to go London, I was planning to go on my own due to peole have different schedules, and Girl had called me that night, just chatting, then told me that Boy had seen me around town the other day and had waved and I had blanked him - I hadn't seen him, I was listening to my ipod, i'm generally gone after the music starts. So after she got off the phone, I texted him saying if it had really happen and my apologies and my excuse. Due to random-ness, I asked him if he was free the nex day to join me in London, I wasn't expecting him to be free or planning to go London the next day too because he's usually very busy but of course he was free and all, so we made plans to meet and go together. This was the day that I told him about the adoption thing and where Father and Daughter started. Either that night or the next day, Girl called me up, and I had totally forgotten until he was mentioned in the call that I told her I had went to London with him. She was like 'Why didn't you tell me?' and I told her that I hadn't really planned to go with him, It was a spontaneous invitation. Later that phone call, maybe because of this, she got very upset and was crying and was feeling very stupid for 'feeling like this' and I the ever great friend was nice and telling her it wasn't stupid and that it was normal to be upset etc. When she heard that I had went London with Boy, she had also said 'i'm not mad or anything, i don't have a problem..' and then few weeks ago, maybe a week or two after the London thing, Boy calls me, it was random and unexpected but I still chatted to him regardless.

About two weeks ago, Girl calls me, just random chatting, mainly her talking about her 'problems' as usual, just because I don't moan constantly about stuff that goes on in my life, she sees it as everything and everyone's problems are much less important than hers, I know, WHY do I still talk to her? And I mentioned the phone call. She said she knew, she was there and that Boy had called her just to annoy her because she was pissed off at me. I don't chat to her that much anymore. So I don't know WHY she was apparently annoyed at me and I didn't ask why. I texted Boy earlier today and asked him about this and said that he only called just to honestly chat to me... Hm... I may text HER later... She can be a real attitudey bitch half the time, she's quite rude so I don't generally bother to question her and stuff.

But back to the partay. After that first time of her telling me about the 'get on you' at the party, which did kinda kill my vibe for a while, I forgot about it and carried on as normal, even chatting to him. There was mini scandals happening, including Birthday Boy's ex who still has feeling for him having mini breakdowns and I wanted to know the goss. There was a part, oh yeah, Girl also randomly SULKS sometimes, she'll just sit there on her own and be like '.....' and you know blatantly she's not 'ok' but you get used to it and leave her to it. She sulks even at other people's parties. It kills part of the vibe if you see her at it, even though other times she's vying for attention. So yes, random things happened I ended up on the stairs with her. After something, she told me that I 'should get with Boy' and something about how he looks at me or no, how he is when he's chatting to me... Like right...utter bollocks... and then I tell her about the Father Daughter thing, she makes a stupid excuse about it and is adamant about this stupid attention seeking theory of hers. But after that, I felt awkward and tried to avoid the both of them. That really killed my buzz for the rest of the night. Along with other things, but that was played a bit part. I felt bad because I felt I was ignoring him or just being suddenly cold but that was just to please Girl. Its stupid, I know, I shouldn't let someone get in the way of a friendship really. She was always 'offering' him to me one way or another, and even when I was like 'no' she would just offer him to me on a plate and say that I wanted to. Yet she's randomly pissed off at me and then I dunno... it's very annoying. I'm of course not going to ask him if he has ANY feelings for me at all, I would guess that he DIDN'T and regardless of his answer, yes or no, it would be just damn awkward having asked him this. You don't go randomly asking your friends if they have feelings for you do you?

So yeah, please post of a opinion via comment. It would be nice to get an opinion. Any stupid comments WILL be deleted. Don't make it stupid.

Night yo.


thimbles and gingham said...

hmm, tricky situation. This girl obviously still likes boy but is trying to convince herself that she doesn't. Don't get too caught up in it, just do what you feel is right.

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